Moms Meet World
Moms Meet World
Sibling Friendships Part 2
In which two of the daughters and their mom chat about questions like: "What factors help great sibling friendships work?", "What advice would you offer to those seeking closer family friendships?" and "How did a handful of people in Europe find our baby podcast?" Bonjour!:D
[inaudible]
Speaker 2:Hi, welcome to moms, meet world where our mission is to strengthen home and family. We're so glad you're here. And our topic today is a sibling friendships. It's the second part in a series. And our guests today are two daughters, Emily, and Rachel. It would be fun to have everyone here, but it is hard when you have eight children and foreign laws and lots of grandchildren to have everybody in the same room at the same time. But so this time we're doing Rachel and Emily and talking about their friendship and what it takes really in a family to have a strong sibling friendship. So let's start with the question. Um, why do you guys think you're such good friends? Actually, can I start with a story? Can I, do you mind if I interrupt myself here? Okay. This is a funny story and I don't know if you'll remember it. But years ago we were at a party at my brother's house on the East coast. So our family lives on the West coast, but we had flown back there for a family reunion. And I was standing there just hanging out with all these people in little clusters, you know, eating dip and chatting. And I are putting dip on crackers. And I, as I was standing there, I overheard a woman say, who are those people? And she was pointing to a group of young adults. And she said, and then she was talking to a friend. She said, I don't know who these people are. Who do you know who they are? And the other woman said, no, I don't know who they are. She was, I've been listening to them for like 10 minutes. This is crazy. They are such good friends. Like, I think they're actually siblings. They don't swear. They're not drinking. And they're just incredibly close friends. Like, they're just, they just love me around each other. And she says, anybody know who they are. She kind of opened it up to the wider group. And I said, that was her actually. Um, my husband and my w were just visiting, but those are our children. Some of our children, there were like six of them. And she said, what the heck? Why did these siblings get along? And I thought to myself, I couldn't even answer a question. I w I don't, I wasn't sure, like I left. And I thought, well, we've, you know, we've tried certain things. I don't know, but I, maybe they just came that way. I mean, I was just confused. So my husband, I were talking about how sometimes it just works to have this sort of ensemble magic when you have a group of people that the chemistry is right. And they all get along really, really well. And we've been super blessed with that. I think w not that these kids haven't fought for goodness sake. Yes. They have had their times where they haven't gotten along, but they do have a certain chemistry that I didn't have with my own siblings growing up in this, to this degree, we definitely had good relationships. We enjoy each other's company, but there's something higher level that I've seen in these kids. And so it'll be fun to pick their brains and see what they think, like what things have helped contribute to their, um, really awesome friendships with one another. So who wants to go first? What do you, what do you think is part of that ensemble magic?
Speaker 1:I can go first. This is Rachel. Hi,
Speaker 3:I think, sorry guys. I'm having an allergy. Um, I think the one big thing has been, um, Emily, Oh, wait, am I focusing just on Emily or all of our siblings? Like, what do you,
Speaker 2:You can actually start with all of them if you want, and then go down.
Speaker 3:Um, I think that we all, um, are, are just really good at understanding each other. And I think that we have kind of a nonjudgmental take that we try and utilize, um, in our family. And so I don't think that people have any hesitation to go to other people for advice, or to reach out just because they know that your siblings are gonna love you no matter what. And we've all really tried to make that a priority. Um, and so I think that's, that's been really helpful.
Speaker 2:Totally agree. Totally. Yeah. I like that too. I think growing up, we did like a lot of really fun things together and like, not necessarily like, you know, expensive or big things either. Like, I mean, we had some fun vacations and we skied a lot, but those were like really special, but we also just did a lot together. Like just like playing around constantly together. Like we entertained each other. Um, mom's not expecting me to say this, but when we were younger, sometimes she would tell us we couldn't like come downstairs. Cause all our rooms were upstairs until we cleaned all of our rooms. And like what a genius strategy for helping your kids to be friends. Because like we thought we were winning, but really we were just out of my mom's hair and she, and she was definitely winning, but we'd take like three hours. We just play together and it was awesome. It's true, Tom. And I would say, why aren't they getting hungry? I mean, it's way past breakfast, but they were, they would much rather not eat and play and laugh than clean their rooms. As you let us see breakfast to let us see breakfast and then go back and tell us, go clean your rooms. And we could last so many hours. Yeah. That's true. Do you think homeschooling helped? Do you think that that was kind of a fun opportunity for at least two of you at a time to be together? So that would have been you and probably Christie, right? Yeah. And Katie, but helps with the other and we're still really close. So I think it's good for other things, but I don't think it makes or breaks the sibling relationship at all. Yeah. But it can't help. So what's the magic here. What's your chemistry magic. Did you just always look up to Emily and kind of seek her out as a friend? Or did it just happen naturally or did you always just think Emily was just kind of like beautiful. Where are you sending your fan mail all the time?
Speaker 3:Incredible personality that I was always drawn to it because I wanted to leech off of it
Speaker 2:And possibly use her, her, her hair as an elixir drink. She does have incredible. That's the way I actually feel Irish medieval hair or something. It's like this like little mermaid here. Amazing. I think I would've mentioned this only one time to somebody about it, but I think this is such a fantastic sense of humor. It makes her so fun to be around. And I feel like when you feel like you have like jokes with somebody or like things that you can like laugh about together, you just feel so close so quickly. I love that. I think I agree.
Speaker 3:No, I think, um, for me, uh, kind of what I was saying earlier, Emily is just so compassionate and kind, it's really easy to feel like you want to hang out with her or tell her stuff, or just be a part of her life because she's really easy to have in your life. You know, you never have to really worry about anything. It's just kind of like a, a rock that you can lean on. So a beautiful rock that's, that's very,
Speaker 2:[inaudible] a lovely rock with mermaid hair. Um, I totally agree. We all think that of you, Emily, you know, that we all kind of come to Emily for that calm, peacefulness. And I don't know, it's just an absolute joy. Every child brings some special gift to the table. It's Rachel's sense of humor, Emily's stability and calmness, or, you know, we could go through every child right. And share their little, super, extra, super powers that, that compliment each other. And I think God does that on purpose. I think he puts people in a family that have often different and very unique, super powers that blend and compliment each other. So let's talk a little bit about your experiences together. You didn't go to college together cause you're six years apart, but you were in Provo at the same time, right? You're both a boy at the same time or in that town. So you were done, you graduated, um, what were some things that were fun about it and what were some things that were maybe a source of conflict, keyword car he wants to take that family like that there's a key word. I thought he used the word keyword to do a pun off of car to kind of the keywords. Okay. All right. Not every joke lands. Okay. There were cars involved. Like people drove cars and probably yes. Anyway, no Rachel borrowed my car a lot and yeah. Uh, college, which I think is like a fine family tradition. And I borrowed my older brother's car all the time as well when I was in college. Um, and so we got to bond, I think a little bit more as adults that way. And I, uh, I just she's, it was so fun. Like, honestly, I don't know if son knows this, I'm gonna share a secret, Rachel. Like some people can't pass on compliments about her and I've been holding on to this one for years, but my roommates would always be like, Oh, what's Rachel coming. We love Rachel. And it's also funny and she's pretty, I was like, this was 19 year olds. You were inspiring even the older girls, but it's true. Rachel, it's so fun. It's a pretty interesting, she's just always fun to be around. That's great. And yes. Did I think maybe she ran out of the car too much, sometimes a hundred percent get grumpy about it, grumpy with her about sometimes, but she was always so classy about it. She'd always be like, Oh, I'm so sorry. You're so vague. Like, and just, I think Rachel is really good at always deescalating, which is not my strength when someone wants to fight. I'm like, I just had to read that I was like, I hate these stuff on that leap. And I'm like, I hate it. Come on. But you're so good natured, really good example of like, sort of like bringing down tension in every interaction. And that's a great thing in a sibling relationship as well. Sometimes I can contribute to the tension we all can sometimes. Yeah. So what did Emily do for you during those college years? Did she help you in any way?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think she even just kind of went into it a little bit, but I could always, definitely rely on Emily just for different questions I had just because Emily was in a little bit more advanced of a state of life than I was like, you break 80
Speaker 2:Advanced stage of life. No, she was just a couple years older than me. And so she passed six years.
Speaker 3:She already done college. And like, whenever I have questions about boyfriends or stuff about school or even where we were living, like it was really helpful to always be able to know I could go to her for any, any help with those really important things. So
Speaker 2:I love that you guys went to Greece together. We did cool memories of that. They both became yoga instructors at the same time in Greece.
Speaker 3:Yes we did. We did get our yoga teaching certification in Greece at the same time together. And it was amazing. I would say it was formative to who I am today and in the least dramatic way possible for a number of presents. That's another,
Speaker 2:So it was a really cool experience. I will say that like, whether I became you, I mean, I did teach yoga afterwards, but like yoga for like old people and Brandon Rita was Dewey press leader body. And he's like, I'm seeing light[inaudible] and you're both very good at yoga. You're adorable, but that, but I, what I mean too, is that just, was it, was it invaluable to go away somewhere with a sibling and do something just the two? Would you recommend that to other people? I think we still have those memories. You don't need to go to Greece for it. Like spending quality time with people is so important. And like as an adult, you have to make that time, but it doesn't have to be something nominated. Like you can go on walks together, like are expensive. It's just like putting in the time, like, like devoting time to that person, like go on dates with your siblings. Do you know? Like, it's like, you'd have like a special date with your dial there, like a romantic date with your spouse or partner. But like, I think he'd been like have sibling dates. I think it's good to spend time with just each other. You guys have both been really good about that. Not just with each other, but with other siblings. I really admire that about you. Sometimes people will say to me, you know, I'd like to have a better relationship with a sibling, but I struggle with jealousy. Any advice that you offer to, and have you struggled with that? We've actually talked about this a little bit before, but if I kind of know that to be full disclosure, I know you already know a little bit of your feelings on this, but for the audience out there and by the way, can I just say hello to my one listener in Ireland? My one listener Italy and my four listeners in France. I already love you guys. And I think there's what we've tended episodes in. I think there's one more country where I have one more list or I can remember I just looked at the stats, but they can tell you now by by country. And so I can't believe I have a listener in Ireland. How are you? Do you want to come stay at my house anyway? And also France?[inaudible] I four of you guys that's is 3% of her audience. I can't. How did you guys find me anyway, special shout out to you guys. What were we talking about before with you on how many of us there's you're having, how many different guns everybody else from the United States? You expect that, but where do these other people come from in 10 episodes? They found us I'm so excited. So a special shout out to you guys in your country. If you can understand what I'm talking about in English, um, which I assume you can, or why would you be listening anyway, back to this? So you, um, you, you were, we were talking about it. Jealousy. Do you have any advice for people who struggle with competing with their siblings? And I guess you don't really is what you tell me anyway, tell me what any thoughts you have about everybody has some competitive feelings, right? I mean, you can't get through life without having that cross your mind.
Speaker 3:I don't, I don't know. I don't think that we really had to, had to deal with that, but I don't want that to come off as like, I've never had any problems with that.
Speaker 2:I'm better not competing than you are. I don't want to come out of town.
Speaker 3:I'm saying that. So I'm not, I'm not really sure, but I do think that, like, I don't know that the things that you have worried about about yourself, no one else is probably worrying about them. So like, you don't need to care that much. Like, I guess I don't really feel like Emily and I really ever struggled with that. So I'm not sure.
Speaker 2:I think that's beautiful. Did you ever struggle on very competitive and uh, with the, should I say it like know each other, but everybody's sure a little competitive sometimes. And one thing that I would say is that like, don't let, like, you're like slightly imperfect, competitive, jealous, or tell us tendencies, like keep you from having good relations with other people. Whether it's your siblings or just having a woman in general. I sometimes hear like, people will be like, Oh, I don't know if I can be friends with a woman or my principal, my sisters. Cause we compete too much. And it makes me sad. It's like, I think honestly competition is a two way street and I'm way oversimplifying this. And I realize everyone's like an individual situation, but like it's okay. You can be friends with someone and still compete with them a little too. Like that's, that's fine. Like that doesn't mean the friendship is nothing or there's no compassion or love. They're like you don't have to have a perfect relationship to have a good relationship. I don't know where I'm going with this. No, I totally agree. And you're right. You do see people say, I'm just not going to, I think they're what they're really saying is I'd rather be lonely than try to navigate the waters of potential jealousy. And so I just want to have many friends. Okay. So really trying to say it like that harshly. I just meant like, you know, like, like it's okay to have like imperfections in the relationship. Does that make sense? Totally, totally work it out. Okay. So last couple things. Um, I think you said earlier when we're talking about this earlier, Rachel, that it was impossible to be jealous of Emily because she was what she was just too kind or something she wouldn't allow you to go there. Really?
Speaker 3:I don't remember saying that Emma was so perfect.
Speaker 2:I think it's saying, I'm sure I'm saying no hope of ever letting up, I guess it just, you know, some people just are looking for that. I think what we were talking about earlier is that some people are looking for that. Like they're setting up that vibe of competition, whereas you thought Emily maybe did it personally,
Speaker 3:Apparently seeding like private compliments.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm just trying to remember what we, yeah, so more full disclosure audience. We actually tried to tape this earlier and I blew it and didn't push record for the second time this week. Hello, just a very busy week or since getting married. And so I'm trying to actually re construct some of the things that you had said and our previous attempt at this, but anyway, so Rachel, what do you and Emily have in common that you think has helped bond you together?
Speaker 3:I think one thing that comes to mind is just like biologically, we both come from the same family and we both have the same siblings and a lot of our life experiences were similar growing up in the same place in the same house and the same parents. So it's really easy for Emily and I to relate to one another. And I feel like that's a great kind of like trick in the back pocket that all siblings have because this person is already extremely similar to you in some ways. And so it's really easy for you to kind of establish a, um, strong, like ability to relate to one another, um, kind of right off the bat. So I feel like that's, that's going. Um, and then I think as well, uh, we really, we both really love to read. We have similar interests in books, um, and we both really like to cook. I really love to talk to Emily about what she's cooking and what she maybe doing in the kitchen and stuff. We definitely share common ground there's
Speaker 2:I love that. And you have a lot of inside jokes, all of you guys do don't you. Yeah. And a lot of, um, common entertainment things, so avatar and that sort of thing. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3:So we do enjoy different shows and movies. Yeah.
Speaker 2:[inaudible] for that. Okay. We're going to have to stop here guys, but thank you for coming. Uh, we'll talk to you next time on mom's meet world.[inaudible].